Farmville is her only friend.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I party with great urgency now.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
