Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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