Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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