Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize