I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
