But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
