she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
