He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
