So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
