tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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