Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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