I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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