I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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