i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
