the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
