To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
