your thong is hanging out like whoa
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just high enough for therapy.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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