So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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