so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
