So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i think i have two assholes
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
