Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I looked at my own cervix.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
