I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
