Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
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He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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