i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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