I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
