Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
