Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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