This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
