Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
