Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
