Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
