There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
