i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
