I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
