there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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