girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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