I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
