wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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