So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
