plz talk dirty to me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
