i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
