well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
