i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
