awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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