So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
