shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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