he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
