I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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