i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
