they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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