I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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