dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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