I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
