note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
