its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
