i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
