the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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