You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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