Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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