hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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