I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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