what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize