So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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