Define "chronic" masturbator.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
