We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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